Unacceptable

All my life, I’ve been saying, “that’s ok.” It started out as a child’s lesson: when another kid says, “I’m sorry,” the appropriate response is, “that’s ok.” It’s an expression of forgiveness for toddlers who can’t quite grasp the full concept of forgiveness yet.

Ideally, wisdom comes with age. While forgiveness is still required, not all grievances are ok. Some are, but not all, and that’s where we need wisdom and discernment. My first exposure to “that’s not ok,” happened two years ago while joking around with some teammates during pre-trip preparation. She was a younger college student who, upon hearing something she didn’t agree with, promptly said, “that’s not ok.” It caught me off guard, and I started laughing. It wasn’t a serious situation…merely an expression of her opinion, but it started me thinking, “How often do I say, ‘that’s ok,’ when I really don’t think it is?” Several factors, including cultural context and a desire to be perceived a certain way, have somehow made those words more difficult to pronounce, but God has been giving me some “speech therapy” as He revealed some false beliefs and idols. Along with saying “no,” saying “that’s not ok” has been rolling off the tongue a little more easily and feeling pretty good!

Over the last several years, I’ve been working on developing a better understanding of reality, which means a fuller understanding of eternity. It’s been hugely transforming in how I make decisions. Instead of going to a cemetery to make big decisions (something that has been recommended), I’ve been trying to think about how I want to respond to God when He asks me about them. It’s become apparent I actually make a lot of excuses, many of which are “not ok.” My top three are:

1. I don’t have _____.

Whether it’s time, resources, knowledge, energy, or anything else, that has got to be the lamest excuse. C.S. Lewis once quoted another writer as saying,

He who has God and everything else has no more than he who has God only.

Or, to quote a Kenyan woman speaking to Kay Warren,

I feel sorry for you. … When you need something, you just go buy it. When I need something, I pray.

Who is accessing the greater source, Saddleback or this woman living in a majority world country? Don’t I have the same access to that Source for all I need to accomplish all He asks of me? Seriously, do I want to stand before God and tell Him, “I didn’t take the opportunities You gave me because I didn’t have enough stuff”? That’s not ok. Psalm 50.12-15

2. No one else is doing it.

It’s like the antithesis of peer pressure, but just as developmentally lethal. Not only is God our Creator, but He is also creative and has chosen to reflect that creativity in part by giving us unique assignments in His Kingdom. Following the crowd brings comfort, but following Christ’s call to Himself on the specific road He’s laid out for me works out my salvation. Do I really want to tell Him, “I didn’t want to be alone”? Considering He has given me the Holy Spirit within me, that’s not ok. John 21.22

3. What if _____?

This question shines best in ice-breakers and interviews, but should be used with caution in decision-making. In considering possibilities and weighing options, it has been too easy to fill in the blank with “it goes wrong” or “I get hurt”. Fear of failure and pride can be constant companions and my worst enemies. There is no sin in disappointment, and there is no suffering that can separate me from the love of Christ. The better question would probably be, “what if I didn’t follow God in this?” In faith and according to His Word, following Him can only lead to victory and success beyond this world’s imagination and more lasting than this world itself. Giving up on that promise, and even more importantly, giving up on Him is not ok. Romans 8.31-39

Accepted

The beauty of this journey is the realization even all of my mistakes and failures, under the blood of Christ, are forgiven. Before Him, I have to constantly confess all of the times I fail Him and to daily tell Him I’m sorry, but I know He will ultimately say “that’s ok,” and I can be confident He understands His forgiveness to a greater level than I ever can.

I’m forgiven because You were forsaken
I’m accepted, You were condemned
I’m alive and well, Your Spirit is within me
Because You died and rose again.¹

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3.1

1. Foote, Billy James. “You Are My King (Amazing Love)“, 1999. [↩]