It was easier on our faith not to pray.¹

just one of the many windows from our online search

This line caused me to put the book down and examine my own journey of prayer. Yesterday afternoon, one of our team members called me to ask if his parents should just purchase their airline tickets because the price might go up in June. They had found tickets online for about $200 higher than what I had found 6 days earlier and felt it was time to jump on it. They would be reimbursed by the funds raised in the following weeks. During a quick online search and some back-and-forth on the phone, I kept trying to pause to receive direction from the Holy Spirit.

This suggestion by our team member’s parents was a new factor in our faith journey. Maybe God was using them to provide for this team? Or maybe it was the typical parental instinct kicking in and wanting to do everything possible to lower risk? I am so grateful for such supportive parents for our team members! It would be a load off my mind to think their tickets were covered. I confess I’ve been concerned and a little weary of trying to figure out how this will all work. It would be easier to just buy the tickets and get it over with. No praying necessary.

But there was also a growing part within me that was unsettled about taking this route.

Just that morning, I mentioned to a friend at church that our other team had recently raised enough for their airfare and, “coincidentally”, gas prices had been dropping…which is exactly what our teams and I had been praying for. Realizing we didn’t have the funds to purchase the tickets at the beginning of their support-raising, I felt the Lord (who is in control of the global economy) challenging me to trust Him to be gracious to our teams as they raised support in faith. I was getting the sense He wanted to delight our teams and show His lavish love on them by (as they worked toward their support goals while deepening their faith in Him) reversing the price of oil and dropping the ticket fares back to or lower than the quote we received in March by the time we had enough funds to purchase them. How could I ignore that? The bottom line was, I couldn’t.

I asked our team member what he felt God was saying, and we came to the conclusion we should wait at least until his team could meet the following evening to make a decision together, even though we know airfare can change in a matter of hours. In the meantime, he, his teammates, and I would be praying throughout the next 24 hours for direction from God. We want to have a testimony of hearing God, obeying Him, and then watching it all come together…just as He told us.

It would be easier to have his parents purchase the tickets now. I don’t know how I’ll be able to explain our faith venture and experience within the theology of a good God if, as they are fearing, the ticket fares rise in June (or in the next few hours). But maybe that’s part of the lesson. A good God — loving, holy, wise, and so much more — doesn’t owe us anything, not even what we ask for in faith. Yes, His Word says if we ask for anything in His name, He will provide it,² and I want to be more consistent in taking Him at His Word. But I need to factor in the reality my faith isn’t perfect, nor is my knowledge of Him. I may be asking in faith, but I might not be asking in His name.

The emphasis in this instance, perhaps, should be on God, not good. Do I trust Him to be God, or do I trust Him to be good? While it’s not an either/or situation (He is both God and good), my first desire needs to be Him as Supreme God, not Him as my probably-flawed definition of good. A song we’ve been introducing on Sunday mornings to our congregation has been encouraging me in this…

As we pray throughout today for wisdom and discernment (and try not to freak out), I hope my heart and the hearts of our team members grow in a significant way today to desire what is better, not necessarily what is easier.³

As I write this, I admit I am uncomfortable with the fact I need to leave this post unresolved…so far. It scares me to know I could be completely wrong in all of this, in what I’ve been sensing from the Lord. But I have full confidence He remains the same as His Word claims Him to be: gracious, loving, wise in desiring His best for us…a good God. Please pray with me throughout today, that the team and I will choose what is eternally better, even if it isn’t what is easier.

…only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.
Luke 10.42

1. A Praying Life, pg 15 [↩]
2. John 14.13-14 [↩]
3. “Better” and “easier” (by the world’s standards) aren’t mutually exclusive, but they aren’t always compatible, either. However, by Kingdom standards, I wonder if “easier” — as in “my yoke is easy” (Matthew 11.30) — is synonymous with better. [↩]

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