One of the best parts of my job is knowing something I find joy and life in is also an integral part in seeing the Kingdom grow. Straight-up praying is hard work. It’s easier — and maybe even more powerful — when you mix it with worship. Even easier when that worship is expressed in songs. Worship helps change the atmosphere. It makes a difference in the heavenly realm, opens up connections between heaven and earth. This mission definitely needs some of that heaven-coming-to-earth dynamic happening. So…for those of you who are praying with me, wanna worship with me, too?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the emotional life — specifically desire and passion — this year. That actually sounds a little funny…thinking about emotions. Somewhere in the first two months of 2011, I felt like the Lord was releasing me to actually feel. I’m not very emotional, so this is a good stretch for me. If someone were to ask me, “how are you feeling?”, my response would probably be something along the lines of “about what?” or “huh?” I’m that intelligent.

Psalm 37.4 tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord. Delight: a passionate emotion. Ourselves: our entire beings, not just our minds. In the Lord: not just information about Him, but Him.

I often get asked about my “calling to Japan.” While I have a clear and specific testimony of God’s invitation for me to invest my life into that nation, I don’t know that I’m supposed to live there, to be a missionary there, to [whatever--you can fill in the blanks] there. All those things we tend to think of when we hear the words, “called to …,” I haven’t had peace about doing yet. Until then, I’m still in the US taking it season by season, trip by trip, opportunity by opportunity, and evaluating as I go along. I can give strategic reasons for my short-term involvement with Japan, but really, at the heart of it all…I just really want to do it. It delights me. I see God there.

I’ve always interpreted the second half of Psalm 37.4, “and He will give you the desires of your heart,” as “He will give you what you want.” Let me say for the record that I do not believe this means He will give us everything we want! I am very aware this is a conditional clause and assume that by delighting myself in Him, my desires will be purified, changed and altered, cleaned up to look like His so He can then fulfill them without violating His holiness…but they’d still be essentially mine. I still think this could be true, but recently I’ve been wondering if it’s the whole truth. What if there is an aspect of our desires that isn’t ours at all? What if the fulfillment of this verse is not just about changing our desires, but trading them in, ours for His?

While this may sound like the same thing, the core difference is ownership. I don’t own my desires anymore in the sense they originated from me. They belong to Him, and He can change them when and how He desires. Those desires in my heart…I didn’t dream them up; He did. Those desires in my heart…I didn’t put them there; He did. That challenges my sense of autonomy.

That’s the approach I’ve been led to take as I pray over supporters for this upcoming trip to Japan: for people to give and pray because it is a desire God has put in them. Not because they’ve successfully made themselves want to do it because “God loves a cheerful giver,” but because their delight in God has led to this desire. Thanks for praying this with me! I hope you’ll also find your hearts’ desires given to you!

Years ago, JD Greear wrote this interesting post on “calling.”

The Confusing Language of “Calling,” Part 1 | TheResurgence.

During a mission team training session, I was introduced to the idea we are not called to a task; we are called to a person. Since then, I’ve been wondering when we first started equating “calling” with “career.” Am I called to be a graphic designer or to do graphic design? Or am I called to the graphic design field? Judging by my portfolio and lack of job offers, the correct answer is “no” to all three. But maybe it’s also because none of those three can, as persons, call me.

Since starting to work in “full-time vocational ministry,” I’ve received a few comments about how I’m now doing “God’s work.” I beg to differ. No one but God can do God’s work. However, I can do the good work He has prepared for me to do, as Ephesians 2.10 states. It is important to note He prepared those works for me to do, not me for those good works. Just as the Sabbath was created for man and not man for the Sabbath, it seems reasonable to conclude the same principle applies to works.

Even though the same verse tells us we are created to do good works, we often skip over that little condition of being created “in Christ Jesus.” It seems “doing good works” is more of a capacity He has built in us rather than a primary purpose. Good works are a means to an end. A car might be created to go from 0-60 in under 8 seconds, but the purpose of the car is not remarkable acceleration; it’s transportation. Acceleration is one of the means toward the end goal of moving a person from point A to point B. The fact that we are “in Christ Jesus” suggests to me that without being re-born in Him, without being in Him and His presence (i.e. active life-giving relationship), we wouldn’t be doing any good works at all.

God doesn’t call me to do stuff for the sake of accomplishing a task. He calls me to Himself. In other words, He gives me things to do, but He calls me to be with Him. The rest of the stuff — missions, vocations, Kingdom assignments, whatever you want to call it — is the result of who He redeems me to be as I exist in His presence. Delegating items on His task list is not the reason He redeems me. The only reason I’m sure He has redeemed me is this: for His pleasure. That’s good enough reason for me! The rest of the stuff I get to do is just icing on the cake.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2.10

Whenever I get ready to go overseas, I make lists. Lots of lists. Packing lists. Task lists. Wish lists. It’s satisfying to check things off. For the last few weeks, I’ve lived by these lists. My favorite one is the one with things to do to spiritually prepare myself to see, hear, and receive as much as possible from God. Spiritual disciplines and soaking in His presence have been so sweet, I wonder why I don’t live this way all the time…even when I have no plans to pull out my passport. However, there was one list I hadn’t planned on making: a reality check list.

As I was praying with my teammate for our upcoming vision trip to Europe (Sept 12-22), she prayed something that caught me off guard, but in a good way. She prayed we would be Continue reading…

It’s happened a few times this week. I’ll have an agenda, an idea of what I want to accomplish. Then, God swoops in irresistibly. One night it’s a worship song that grabs my heart, and I have to drop what I’m studying to engage with Him. Tonight, it’s His direct ministry to me, and I have to drop my plans to leave early. How can you fight that?? I can’t. It isn’t a fair fight. It’s better to just give in and let Him have His way.

I’m slowly realizing the places I thought I could go to get things done while enjoying the presence of God are the places I can’t get anything done precisely because I’m engulfed in the presence of God. I’ll get more than I planned for: I’ll get God, and I love Him for ruining my plans.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55.8-9